Dating in College

There are countless opinions on dating in college. People will tell you that we're young, and it's time to experiment and have fun, and I know firsthand that it seems like the majority of college students are in relationships. I'm not here to tell you that dating in college is a terrible idea, but I do want to remind you that what works for some might not work for you. The first thing to consider is your stance on relationships and what your goal would be if you were to date in college. As a Christian, I know that casual dating is not for me, especially since I believe the goal of dating somebody is to marry them. As a college student, I choose to focus on family, friends, school, and my hobbies instead of on dating. However, this is what works in my particular case with my beliefs. Not everyone is the same, and maybe you are trying to find a long term relationship. Here's some advice if that's the case:

1.) Have High Standards

You are a valuable, respectable, lovable person. You deserve a loyal, caring, partner who treats you the right way. There's no reason for you to put up with a partner that makes you feel negatively about yourself, that goes behind your back, or portrays other red flags. 

2.) Don't Compromise your Morals and Values

I've mentioned before that I'm Catholic, and that comes with it's own set of morals and values. If you're Catholic, Christian, or another religion, make sure you don't compromise your beliefs/morals/values for someone else. The right person won't make you change who you are and they won't want you to compromise your integrity. My advice would be for you to find someone with the same beliefs as you, and someone whose morals and values line up with yours. 

3.) Say No to Situationships

Just no. If someone is not being clear about where you stand, don't waste your time on them. You are bound to get your heart hurt, and waiting around for someone who won't commit to you affects your chances of finding a serious partner. Dating, love, and relationships are not about games and playing around if you want a partner who loves and respects you and is in it for the long run. 

4.) Don't Forget Your Other Relationships

Remember that you still have family, friends, community and other relationships in your life to take care of. If or when you get into a relationship doesn't mean you should stop cultivating other important aspects of your life. Spend time with your loved ones and don't isolate yourself while dating. 

5.) Don't Be Burned By the Same Flame Twice

If you tried things out with someone and it didn't work out, don't go back and try again. It doesn't matter if they say they've changed, there's a reason things didn't work out the first time. 

6.) Pay Attention to Red Flags

Someone that drinks a lot, parties often, and dates around is a walking red flag if you're looking for a serious and committed relationship. Let's say you are someone values keeping your grades up (as you should) and you're dating someone that doesn't mind low grades. That could be a red flag for you, it varies by person. Red flags can become serious points of disagreement in a long term relationship, it's important to know what you're not okay with before jumping into a relationship. 

If you choose to date in college keep in mind that your decisions right now could affect the rest of your life. It's also perfectly fine if you choose to focus on college, other valuable human connections, and hobbies. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything, and don't stop thinking about what you want your future ot look like.